Anyone order a zombie apocalypse movie without the zombies? Oh yeah, Lionsgate did. Greenland 2: Migration, starring Gerard Butler, in a sequel absolutely no one asked for. The original Greenland (2020) was surprisingly solid, tense, grounded, and effective. More importantly, it was a complete story. Which makes this sequel feel less like a natural continuation and more like a contractual obligation. And just like last year, we get another Gerard Butler January sequel that nobody wanted. The only difference? This one is slightly better than Den of Thieves: Pantera. And that's... not saying much. Set five years after the Clarke comet wiped out most of humanity, Migration follows the Garrity family as they escape the crumbling Greenland bunker and trek across a devastated Europe in search of a new home. Ok...so let's talk about our setup, Allison Garrity (Morena Baccarin) is now part of the bunker's ruling council, while John Garrity (Gerard Butler) has been demoted to full-time grunt duty-scraping pipes, scavenging outside, fixing infrastructure. Life is stable. Predictable. Which of course means... it's time to leave. Because if things made sense, we wouldn't have a movie. No Zombies? No Problem. Just Throw Everything Else at Them It's clear that writers Chris Sparling and Mitchell LaFortune reached the same conclusion early on: Okay, we don't have zombies... so what else can kill them? The answer: everything. Earthquakes. Radioactive storms. Monsoons. Structural collapses. Environmental chaos layered on top of environmental chaos. And so much more I cannot go into without spoiling anything. Every obstacle imaginable is thrown at the Garrity family, and every single time, they survive while everyone around them dies in increasingly convenient ways. Something my daughter called out while watching it with me. There's a point where the tension stops feeling earned and starts feeling procedural. You know they'll survive. You just don't know how absurd it'll be this time. And then there's the water. Again, without spoiling specifics, a major plot point hinges on what happens to a certain body of water in the film and it makes absolutely no sense. Not movie logic nonsense. Not sci-fi stretch nonsense. Just... basic geography and hydrology thrown straight out the window. It was so baffling that I genuinely stopped to wonder if I was wrong. So I checked a map. I wasn't wrong. The movie is just making things up like it doesn't know how water works. Despite all that, Greenland 2 does have moments where it earns a shrug of respect. There are situations where you think, "Nope. I would never do that." And those moments, when survival choices feel desperate and ugly, are when the film briefly clicks. Butler remains solid in this lane, and the family dynamic still has enough grounding to keep the movie from completely floating away. But let's be clear: this is not a theater movie. This is not a "go out of your way" movie. This is a "it's on streaming and you're bored" movie. Greenland 2: Migration is a serviceable, unnecessary sequel that replaces grounded tension with escalating nonsense. It wants to be a bleak survival epic, but too often feels like a checklist of disasters stitched together by coincidence and convenience, all wrapped up in a closing monologue trying to make us understand that we should appreciate what we have and no matter how bleak it gets, we can build better. If you liked the first film, you might find this mildly entertaining. If you didn't think Greenland needed a sequel, you were right.

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