The Baltimorons 2025 1080p WEB-DL DDP5.1 x264

"Baltimorons" is so convincing, so nuanced, so "gritty" that some people might night think it's a Romantic Comedy but it has all the elements: an improbable couple starts as love-hate; they bicker; have hi-jinks, break up and bond. This film is a little dark for the genre but that's hardly new ground. The two protagonists are damaged, lovable, complex, irritating. Importantly, I found myself completely "getting" them as a couple, as the movie progressed. And this was no easy task -- they are a very bad fit for each other. I wish movies would cast more genuine beauties like Liz Larsen. And by "genuine" I mean the people who are attractive in the real world, not Hollywood. I find it irritating when a Hollywood movie has a "homely girl" who, in the real world, was the most beautiful girl at their high school. Liz Larsen is real-world attractive -- which is not a qualified compliment. It's higher standard, in my opinion. Similarly, Michael Strassner is real-world charming. He's not George Clooney, he's the funniest guy in your office. And he is genuinely funny -- often as a coping or self-defense tool. I found myself laughing out-loud (although I was sometimes the only one in the theater.) The gritty feel of the movie lets the humor catch you off-guard but that's another real-life aspect of the move. Like laughing in the hospital. The characters' internal damage and dysfunction are also real-world stuff -- addiction, woundedness, cynicism, guardedness, personal chaos, pettiness. If you don't have these, you know somebody who does. When the characters build a functional relationship with these very familiar challenges, I found it tremendously hopeful. The supporting characters are all good, even though they are given little runway for it. Olivia Luccardi does a good "I'm angry and done but I still love you." role. DiDi's ex-husband and new wife (names?) were a stand-out. They play "Creeps but not evil." well. In lesser movies, you wonder, "What did she ever see in him?" Not this movie. Lastly, I've never been to Baltimore but the movie seems authentic -- Jonathan Bregel shoots it as both a mess and beautiful. I could totally imagine why people make good lives there, despite it's reputation. If I had any criticism, it's the plot, which is mostly, "This happened. Then that happened and then another thing..." I would have preferred more structure. I suspect this was intentional -- improv is a major theme and the plot is a series of situations that the characters react to... "Yes. And..." If you watch movies for escapism, don't let my "it's real world" discourage you. With "The Baltimorons" you escape into other people's real world which is funny, beautiful and hopeful.
- Michael Strassner
- Liz Larsen
- Olivia Luccardi