The narrative structure of The Loss Adjustor has all the integrity of the Columbia space shuttle coming into land, and much like the ill-fated craft, finds itself staffed by many otherwise great talents with no escape and falling fast. And that won't be the only laboured aviation metaphor you're in for if you make the mistake of watching this thing. However, if you are going to watch this, (and I suggest you find something better to do with 100 minutes of your precious, finite time on Earth), at the very least don't buy it with money. After all, as Abi Branning, (freed from the shackles of EastEnders yet apparently condemned to an eternal cycle of locking up a North London florists), says to the titular Loss Adjustor, "there is no dress rehearsal in life". And honestly, when it comes to this production, you assume that to be true in more ways than one.

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