The main thing to capture attention in this uneven flat-pack is the very on-budget wigs. Obviously no budget was allowed and back costume lots were raided. First up is Nicole Kidman's wig. It turns in a very rigid performance around the dry centre part, and bobs very unevenly around the halfway curls as the tension increases. It changes colour sometimes to add intrigue, but generally remains quite washed out. But wait there's more wiggery to come ... all bad ... There's a frightening appearance by a dense black wig that speaks appalling French. Masses of dark brooding locks allow the wearer to peer through and deliver random threats. There's droopy ones, red-haired terrible cut ones and wibbly wobbly ones. At least they are something to follow.

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